Leaderless Group Politics

I have no problem leading, or supporting, or even sitting on the sidelines, but what I hate is group politics with no one I can depend on to act as coordinator.

Let me tell you a story that illustrates this.  Long, long ago, in a place far to north three business professionals where travel to a business meeting.  As far as their positions in the company there was a very clear line of responsibility between the, but it also turned out that they were friends.  So outside of the meeting itself they acted pretty much like friends on a road trip.  No one wanted to hurt anyone else's feelings, and everyone fairly complacent with where they went to eat.  So as is common in such situations the conversation begins: "Anyone care whether we stop and eat or just head on to the office?"  There are then lots of "whatever is fine", and "I am fine either way".  Slowly someone mentions that they are a little hungry, and the conversation moves on to "I am fine wherever you guys want to go",  "I don't care either", "Anything look better than anyone else?", "I am fine what ever" and so on.

Well, it turns out that I often have a little preference, and I know that everyone else does too.  I figure that is why everyone is so noncommittal.  Well, anyway in this story, one of the businessmen spoke up and said something like, "I would actually like to go to Restaurant A."  So magically the car begins to turn toward Restaurant A.  The other businessmen find the choice of eateries a little out of the ordinary, but perfectly satisfactory.  To make a long story short, the businessman who made that suggestion was jibbed and teased for the next three days.  You know how it goes, "Oh don't ask so and so, we'll end up at Restaurant A again."

You know what?,  Let me tell you another story since this is my soapbox.  There was another place and another time when a small office was working late, and the company wanted to buy dinner for the office.  As locations and types of food were discussed nobody has any strong suggestions until someone suggested something, and suddenly half the other people in the office didn't want that.  So after literally hours of working and haphazard discussions about where to eat or get food, the members of the company began to finish up and head home.  Eventually the company bought dinner for 2 of the remaining 5 employees, and everyone had to stay later just to wait for the food to arrive before anyone dared to 'abandon' the rest of the team and go home.

I am sure there are social names for this phenomenon, and I am sure it is very fascinating to study, but I hate being in it.  Now don't get me wrong, I love working in teams, and collaborating, and brainstorming, and all those team activities, and I believe that in software development it is more enjoyable, and far more productive to work in a good team.  What makes me grind my teeth is when everyone is too afraid to make a suggestion, but when someone ponies up with an idea suddenly everyone has a descenting opinion.